This is a song about Cheryl's experience when she refinanced her mortgage. She was amazed at the difference between the smiling faces in the commercials and the actual people who work on your mortgage.

Cheryl often dedicates this song to Fleet Mortgage, the people who handled her mortgage in 1998. At one folk festival, she dedicated the song as usual, and somebody noticed that Fleet Mortgage was one of the sponsors of the festival.

Early in 2001, Cheryl played at a concert where Compass Bank was one of the sponsors. When introducing this song, Cheryl made some comment about the fact that Compass was sponsoring the festival, and that she was sure that it wasn't like the bank in this song. Nevertheless, the bank was very upset and contacted Cheryl's booking agent. Cheryl was wondering what they wanted the agency to do, once the show was over. She suggested maybe she would write a song for Compass. Something like "this bank is better than the airline" or something. That was a joke :^) For a while, Cheryl would sometimes dedicate the performance of this song to both Fleet and Compass banks.

In November 2011, Cheryl added a new verse to the song, which was inspired by the financial fiascos that went on around that time. You can watch a video on youtube. In this verse, she uses the phrase: shoot our cuffs. She discussed this in an email to me:

I've learned since writing this that most audience members are unfamiliar with the phrase "shoot ones cuffs". It's that thing guys in suits do when they quickly jerk their arms forward so their shirt sleeve cuffs project from their suit jackets. It seems like a perfect gesture for a banker to make, right after he's ruined someone's life. What's puzzling to me is that I, surely among the least fancy dressers on earth, would be familiar with this term while VERY few audience members are. Go figure.

  • We're the Bank
  • Words And Music By
  • Cheryl Wheeler
  •  
  • We're the Bank. We're not your friend. We want those records
  • And we want them sent this afternoon
  • Or your gross expenses will balloon
  • And you'll only have yourself to thank
  • Write "attention clerk", 'cause it's the way we work
  • And we're the bank
  •  
  • We're the bank, get a grip, get in line
  • And in triplicate we'll need for sure
  • Everything you've ever signed before
  • As to cost we haven't mentioned yet to you
  • You can bet on one thing,
  • You'll be at the closing when we do
  •  
  • Your tax returns are ours to keep, with what you earn
  • Until the final sleep, and even then
  • We've assured ourselves, at your expense,
  • Crossing t's and dotting all the i's
  • To be paid in full within a day or two
  • Of your demise
  •  
  • And we will call, a million times, for bills and forms
  • That you will never find, and we'll insist
  • That without these we cannot progress
  • When we have these documents in hand
  • We'll assess time lost and probably raise your cost
  • By several grand
  •  
  • A few of us have found a way
  • To make what's yours
  • A part of our ginormous pile of wins
  • If this were bowling you would be the pins
  • We ruin little people everyday
  • It's just a kick for us
  • and then we shoot our cuffs
  • And walk away.
  •  
  • We are the bank, with walls of stone, and heads of steel
  • And though in ads we're shown to smile and nod
  • This is PR if there ever was
  • So just forget that warm and friendly bit
  • Because I swear by god, it's a complete and utter
  • Crock of shit
  •  
  • (P) February 2, 1999
  •  
  • Penrod And Higgins Music / Amachrist Music
  • ACF Music Group
  • International Copyright Reserved
  •